One of my favorite genres of articles these days is the “MAGA relatives and friends are very sad about the consequences of being absolute human filth. Why is this happening to them?!” My favorite sub-genre is “They’re sad; they don’t deserve this cruel, cruel treatment, and we should all just get along.” To which my instant and natural response is a lot of laughing and a loud “FUUUUUCCCKKK YOOOOOOOUUUU!”
just wrote about another delightful entry in this favored genre from the Wall Street Journal. The WSJ just doesn’t understand; it’s so confusing! Why are so many adults telling their parents to take a fucking walk, lose their number, and to never darken their doorstep again?
“Why Are So Many Adults Cutting Off Their Parents?” the headline asks.
The broad causes the WSJ lists are “the rise of social-media algorithms, changing therapeutic approaches and a broadening definition of trauma.” You can see where this is going, and it’s as far away from personal responsibility as humanly possible.
He’s not kidding. You can, in fact, tell the WSJ is going to twist itself into a caricature of wide-eyed innocence and “just asking questions!” from the very beginning of the article:
Like Brill—whose 28-year-old son cut off contact three years ago—these parents were seeking one thing: answers.
“We want to know what makes all these kids want to do this,” says Brill, a 60-year-old retired event planner from Atlanta. “Because whatever the individual case may be, they are all saying the same thing: ‘My mom is a narcissist.’ ‘My dad is self-absorbed.’ ‘It’s your fault something is wrong.’ ”
Let’s be honest. Not one of these parents is looking for answers. They’re looking for absolution. They’re looking for someone to tell them that they’re not to blame for their kid finally tiring of their abusive bullshit and kicking them to the curb. They need someone, ANYONE else to blame.
It has to be social media! It has to be therapists! Texting! Identity politics! Their children are self-centered, not them! They’re good people, goddammit!
Pfft! As if. But allow me to take a brief detour from the article to ask you, very nicely, to support this newsletter with a subscription. Substack has been throttling my traffic for almost two years now, and every sub helps. You can keep this newsletter going for just $5/month or $50/year $25/year during the October 50% Off Spooky Season Sale!
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Of course, while diagnosing the problem, WSJ conveniently elides the very obvious issue at hand: Who these parents actually are and how spectacularly shitty they have been to their children. The word “politics” is mentioned exactly once. Same with gender, race, and sexuality. None of that is a problem. Or rather, it is. But only because of those darn kids and their identity politics!
Surprise! Identity is targeted as the source of all the drama. Naturally:
“There’s this idea that if you don’t endorse or embrace my identity, you are no longer an ally,” Coleman says. “And from that perspective, cutting you off becomes a virtuous act of self-care and protecting my mental health.”
Did you catch the attempt at psychological and societal jujutsu? When your parents reject the very core of who you are, it’s YOUR fault if you don’t accept that rejection! You and your fucking identity bullshit and mental health. Don’t you know your parents need acceptance, too?! They need you to accept their hate and spite and cruelty and sadism and blind rage.
We’re not talking about parents and kids butting heads over a career choice or what kind of music they listen to. If I get into an argument because I think my son dresses like an idiot or my daughter wears too much makeup, that’s not me criticizing them on a core level. That’s all superficial bullshit. Becoming a professional mime probably isn’t going to work out. Jobs come and go. Music tastes change over time. No one dresses the same at 30 like they did at 19.1
That is not the same as telling your kid they’re disgusting for dating a (insert ethnic or religious minority of your choice here). An abomination for being Trans. Throwing them out of the house for being gay. Telling them over and over that America is for whites only when half of their friends are not white. That hurting The Other makes you happy, and if they don’t agree, then there’s something wrong with them. They must have toxic empathy or some kind of woke mind virus.
Now, you are hitting something deeper, something central to who they are as a person. Something they cannot alter, and you, as a parent, should not want them to. You’re not “challenging their identity,” as the WSJ so blandly puts it. You are attacking their fundamental self. You are telling them that they are unacceptable unless they change the most elemental parts of who they understand themselves to be. This, according to the Wall Street Journal, is fine. Walking away from parents who demand it? That’s just fucking awful.
In other words, parents are allowed to condition their love and affection on their child changing immutable aspects of themselves. Children, on the other hand, are not allowed, under ANY circumstances, to condition their love and affection on their parents accepting them for who they are. They’re also not allowed to condition their love and affection on their parents being less intolerant and hateful of others. Let’s be clear about this: Not every kid walks away from their MAGA parents because their hate is directed at them, specifically.
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There are plenty of people who cannot tolerate the nonstop torrent of bile their relatives spew at other people. You don’t have to be Trans or Jewish or Black or have any Trans, Jewish, or Black friends to get sick and tired of listening to your Fox News-addled mother’s nonstop complaining about how they’re ruining America. A bigot is a bigot is a bigot, and in the year 2026, that shit is worn the fuck out. We also all know that if whoever they currently hate isn’t someone in our lives, it will be someone new tomorrow. Sooner or later, it WILL be someone we know and care about personally. It always is. It always will be. This is why I stopped speaking to my in-laws in 2016 when they bragged about voting for Trump. I’ve mentioned this many MANY times, but I told my wife that even though the 2016 election was about hate for Latino immigrants and Muslims, they would get around to the Jews. Seven months later, Nazis were marching in Charlottesville. Ten years later, the Republican Party is infested with…Nazis.
Now, according to the WSJ, the fact that so many people are no longer swallowing the poison of their parents at the expense of their own well-being is truly an epidemic. Not the poison, of course. That’s OK. We must accept the ocean of bile spewed by parents who wear MAGA hats and cheer for concentration camps and openly pine for literal genocide. Any desire to remove that kind of objective evil from our lives is, of course, just wrong and hurtful. How can we be so callous?! What the actual fuck is wrong with us? Don’t we love our parents?! The ones who laughed when Americans were murdered on the street?
The Wall Street Journal can go fuck itself right off a cliff. Like I’ve been saying since 2016: We do not owe these fucking people anything. Not our time. Not our forgiveness. Not our love and affection. They are owed nothing but scorn and derision because they have chosen to follow a monster and attack everything that is good and decent in this world and in themselves. That’s their fucking problem. I see no reason to make it mine. But please, keep writing these articles, WSJ (and the rest of the legacy press). I do so dearly enjoy the genre. It’s absolutely delightful.
There are two things, specifically, I love about this genre and why I enjoy writing about it so much.
The first is that it shows, for the very first fucking time in American history, that there are systemic and ongoing consequences for the American right. They are not being rewarded for their hate. They are not being absolved of their hate. They are being ostracized for it. There is now a price for being hateful. A very VERY steep one. They are being cut off from their family and treated like a pariah. After Trump is gone and they burn their MAGA hat, some of them will be forgiven.
Most of them will not.
I will never again speak to my in-laws, my cousin, my half-brother. They went MAGA, and they are dead to me. I will be far from the only person with this opinion. There will be (tens of) millions just like me. Millions of Americans who will get a phone call from their MAGA friends and relatives looking to reconnect after the regime falls. They’ve changed, you see! They were never REALLY MAGA! They’re an Independent now! Or a Constitutional Conservative! Or, really, they’re just not into politics; can't we just move past all that silliness?
No. No, we cannot, and lose my fucking number, you Nazi fuck. This will spawn another thousand articles after the fall: Why won’t intolerant liberals forgive their parents?!
Because they do not deserve it and they have not earned it and because fuck them, that’s why. I look forward to reading that new sub-genre and writing about it.
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This brings me to the other thing I love about all of this. These articles and me writing about them2 do something very important. Something the WSJ definitely does not want but is doing anyway: They create a permission structure. This structure allows people who were either on the fence about walking away from abusive parents or didn’t even realize that was an option.
The Wall Street Journal, and every other outlet writing in outrage over this “epidemic,” is unintentionally showing us that there is another way. We do not HAVE to suffer through another Thanksgiving listening to our parents tell us that the only way to save America is to get rid of the dirty immigrants and men playing in women’s sports. That vaccines kill babies, and you can’t trust doctors. That “inner cities” are all on fire because of riots and crime. That women who get abortions are whores, and maybe they should bleed to death in hospital parking lots.
None of us have to allow so much hate and cruelty and evil in our lives. There’s no reason for it. There’s no justification. By talking about it, both in terms of it happening and laughing at the so-called “despair” of those who have been cut off from their victims,3 we make space for others to take that leap to freeing themselves from the tyranny of hate.
The fact that I deeply enjoy writing about the suffering of estranged MAGA doesn’t make it any less of a public service to tell you that you do not have to put up with their bullshit. An Ogre can love his work, can’t he? 😉It’s your life. It’s your children’s lives (if you have any). If you do not want soulless monsters tainting it with a constant barrage of sadistic malice towards everyone that doesn’t look, sound, and act like them, walk away. Protect yourself (and your kids).
Maybe someday you’ll end up the subject of a legacy press article lamenting how mean you are for abandoning the poor, unloved MAGA in your life. God, I’ll be so jealous!
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I mean, I kind of do? Jeans and graphic T-shirts aren’t really a “style,” per se.
My part is a little less important, but I try.
Because as long as we are trapped in a relationship with people who pour their evil into our lives, we are, in fact, victims. Victims of their intolerance and cruelty, even if it’s not directed at us.





