One year ago, Republicans were pretty sure they had a path to victory. The Senate was a steep uphill climb for Democrats, and Republicans had a plan. They were going to gerrymander so many safe Republican seats, Democrats would never win a majority ever again. It was foolproof!
Well, they forgot about the biggest fucking fool in the country: Donald Trump, the drooling imbecile they put in charge of their party. How’s that working out for them?
US Grocery Prices Saw Their Sharpest Rise in 50 Years, and They’re Still Not Coming Down
Inflation stayed hot in August with annual pace of 3.4%, raising the odds of a Fed hike
Oh, cool. So everything is going down the shitter as fast as humanly possible? Who could have possibly foreseen that kicking off a war that would close a vital source of oil while also intensifying a trade war with our closest trading partner would have an astonishingly negative effect on our economy?
Besides, of course, everyone who understands high school-level economics? Because let’s be honest: I’m no economist and I fully grasp the concept here. This shit ain’t rocket science. Drive up the price of gas, especially diesel, which is what freight trucks run on, and everything gets more expensive. Start a trade war with Canada, and shit gets more expensive. When shit gets more expensive, people get really mad at the party in power.
A+B+C=Republicans are fucked.
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As of this writing, the Strait of Hormuz is still closed, and it’s going to remain that way for as long as Iran wants it to stay that way. Donald Trump and Pete Hegseth thought they could bomb Iran into submission, which every military officer who has spent more than ten seconds studying the region would have told was not going to work. And they did.
The only way to break Iran would be a full-scale invasion which would be astronomically costly in terms of blood and treasure. Trump doesn’t actually care about either of those things, but he’s dimly aware that getting 10,000 American soldiers killed would be very unpopular. So we’re stuck threatening and bluffing, which worked for a little while. Now it doesn’t, and no one pays attention to the dying clown with the weird makeup and the stinky diaper who can’t stay awake.
And just for funsies, Iran’s proxies, the Houthis, have also seized control of the Bab el-Mandeb Strait, which closes off the Red Sea. This is where Saudi Arabia was getting its oil out after Hormuz was closed. It was slower, required a pipeline to reach the coast, but it was something. Now there’s nothing, and that’s why oil is back up around $110 a barrel and going higher every day.
Saudi Arabia cannot seem to get a handle on the situation and begged Trump for help. Trump refused, which either suggests that the Saudis have not paid Trump enough in bribes, or that our forces in the Middle East are so degraded because of Trump and Pete Hegseth’s rampant incompetence and sheer stupidity that they cannot provide adequate support.
Just a quick note: Please pay attention to the people cheering for the Houthis. This keeps happening, and they should be fucking ashamed of themselves. Pull them aside and tell them to stop being a fucking asshole. The Houthis are modern-day slavers. They kidnap children, rape them, and then traffic them. Rooting for the Houthis because they oppose Israel and the United States does not make you a moral beacon; it makes you a monster standing with literal pedophiles. It is, in fact, possible not to pick a side in a fight when both sides are repugnant, including your own side. Do better. Don’t side with child-raping slavers. And now back to the matter at hand.
So now, with just seven weeks left to the midterms, Trump has guaranteed the Iran War cannot end. Trump is now getting to the point where he’s draining the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to critical levels. Will he leave enough for the military in an emergency? Will he drain it to the point where the salt caverns the oil is in begin to collapse, making the rest difficult or impossible to get to? Maybe? If Trump stops tapping the reserve, there will be an immediate spike in gas prices, and he can’t afford that. Better to cripple the nation before taking an electoral hit, right? After all, what is more important? Donald Trump or national defense? What a silly question! Trump, of course!
This is why Trump is now demanding Ukraine stop bombing Russian oil facilities. You see, the world NEEDS Russian oil! So Ukraine should let Russia sell it and fund their war on Ukraine. Ukraine responded to this by immediately bombing another Russian refinery. I guess their answer was a solid, “Fuck you.” Maybe Trump shouldn’t have stopped sending aid? Doesn’t really give them a lot of incentive to listen to us. Oh well.
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So here’s the thing: Canada is not going to back down because they can’t. The Trump regime gave them a list of insane demands which amounted to effectively handing over sovereign control of their country to Trump. If Trump backs down and agrees to a normal trade deal, sure. But Trump always has to be seen “winning,” and that makes for a poor negotiation. After almost two years of this bullshit, Canada is more interested in becoming part of the European Union and securing its economic future that way. This would be catastrophic for the United States but very good for Canada in the long run. Yaaay. America First. In the short run, though, Canada is going to fuck Trump over as hard as possible to ensure his party feels as much pain as possible for the midterms. They know Democrats will do everything to rein in the Mad King, which will be better for Canada.
Iran is doing the exact same thing. Expect them to come to the bargaining table once Democrats control Congress. And expect them to make a lot of noise about how Democrats are the people they want to negotiate with. They know a Democratic president in 2029 will be someone they can make a good-faith deal with and will not launch a sneak attack in the middle of signing a treaty.
Is that a lot of foreign interference in our elections? It sure is. But Republicans were happy when Russia did it covertly, so fuck them and their whining.
It’s important to understand where we are right now. Republicans are down at least ten points in a generic poll among likely voters. Trump is underwater in the polls by a 2-1 margin. He is unpopular in almost every state, including most of the deep DEEP red states that he won in 2024. Republicans are losing on every single issue, including immigration and the economy, which they, historically, have never lost on.
And it’s all going to get worse in the next several weeks as gas gets more expensive, prices continue to go up, and the economy stalls even further. God forbid the AI bubble, already right on the brink of collapse, goes pop and those headlines are splashed all over the country. This close to an election that is already positioned to be a bloodbath for Republicans, any one of those would be “Just fucking kill me already” news. Any combination of them, or all of them?1 Dinosaur-killing asteroid.
The fun part of this is that it’s all self-inflicted. No one made Trump start a war he couldn’t end. No one made Trump escalate the war after he lost it. No one made Trump restart and then escalate a trade war with Canada two months before the midterms. No one made Trump use up all of his mitigation efforts to stabilize the price of oil over the summer. No one made Trump sabotage his own economy over the last eighteen months. No one made Trump dummymnader his safe red seats so much that there is a very real chance Republicans will lose where they shouldn’t have. No one made Trump wage such a violent war on immigrants that he destroyed all of his gain with the Latino community, putting Senate seats into play that should never even be close.
The blue wave was always going to be brutal, but Trump has done everything imaginable to open the floodgates and leave his party of pedophiles and Nazis defenseless. Hell, he’s going out there to campaign and remind everyone what a fucking loser he is and energize Republican Democratic voters by telling the public to love Flock cameras and data centers.
That’s a hell of a closing message. I’m not kidding, Democrats should send Trump a fruit basket and a very nice thank you card. He really is doing all the heavy lifting for them.
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There are just 49 days until the most important midterm election in American history. The regime is doing the dumbest shit imaginable because they are afraid, and they should be. We are legion, and they are weak. Stay strong. You are never alone.
It’s tempting to say “hopefully,” but any of these, especially the AI bubble popping, will be enormously damaging to the average American and even worse to those living on the margins. Watch this 1-minute clip, and you’ll understand why I don't get excited about this stuff. I want Republicans to lose, but you should understand the cost. It doesn’t matter that the regime did this. It’s still happening to people.














